Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Humoring the Hawkeyes

March 26, 2008, 5:45 a.m.

"How About Them Hawks?"

There comes a time in any tragedy when the serious conversations are beginning to repeat themselves, the reasonable reactions have either been adopted or consistently ignored, and the only rational response is humor.

The Iowa football program has reached that stage.

Now that spring practice has come 'round again, and another season stretches out before us, here are some efforts at comic relief -- for which I would gladly give credit if only I knew the source:

Q: Why is Coach Kirk Ferentz retiring to become a drug counselor?
A: So he can spend more time with his players.

A woman in Iowa City calls 9-1-1 and shrieks, "Someone just broke into my house and I think he's going to rob me!"
"We're really busy at the moment," the dispatcher replies. "Just give me the guy's jersey number and we'll get back to you."

Q: What is the biggest concern for the University of Iowa athletic director right now?
A: Do the NCAA rules mean that paying players' bail money constitutes a violation?

Q: What do you call a drug ring in Iowa City?
A: A huddle.

Q: Four Hawkeye players are in a car. Who's driving?
A: The police.

Q: Why can't more Hawkeye football players get into the huddle on the field?
A: It's a violation of their parole to fraternize with known felons.

Q: What is the Hawkeyes' new Honor System?
A: "Yes, your honor." "No, your honor."

Q: How will the Hawkeyes spend the first week of spring training?
A: Studying their Miranda Rights.

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Anonymous said...

UIOWA Law Blog

Fleming Salley said...

This is hilarious! I've never heard these before. I never went to a school with a (legitimate) football program before, so I love all of these new in-jokes.